Me Bein Bettern the Both o You

Well Mr. Cannonball Snappin’ Turkle
And Mr. Davey Sock-ette
I am here to tell who is the real baddest one
In every direction from North South East West and even up and down
It is I
The Every-Color Stag
What made them great lakes of ours
‘Cause right after I drank up that there glacier
I really had to take a whiz
And you can Cock-a-doodle-doo yerself all you want
But ain’t you ever wondered who it was
That woke up the sun when you was sick?
Again that’d be me
The 10,000 point Stag
And the sun comes to me just when I open a mighty eye
And he leaves, all disappointed-like when I close it at night
All them little lakes in between the big ones
Thems are my hoof-prints
From when I chased that last ice-age away
And them little dunes on the edges
Those would be my turds from that time
When I ate down all the pine trees
So the people would start movin’ in
It’s my rhymin’ and rhythmin’ that the stars line up for at night
And when the sun gets too bright
I take a big gulp of water and spit it into the sky
Makin’ clouds to cover up the sun
Tornadoes are the wind from when I go sprintin’
And if you ever seen them Northern Lights
Them are me too, runnin’ around in the sky
Takin’ sips from the big and little dippers

So if you’re still lookin’ for a fight
I got you one right here
‘Cause ain’t nobody ever took down the Steel-Hoofed Stag
And ain’t nobody ever gonna